7:56 pm - Sun, Sep 21, 2014
234 notes

What I’d Wear : The Outfit Database

(source : Seams for a Desire )
9:17 pm - Wed, Aug 20, 2014
Most don’t deserve your tears… and the ones that do will never make you cry.
― T. Rafael Cimino, Table 21
8:29 pm

“Poor fellow! I think he is in love with you.’

I am not aware of it. And to me it is one of the most odious things in a girl’s life, that there must always be some supposition of falling in love coming between her and any man who is kind to her… I have no ground for the nonsensical vanity of fancying everybody who comes near me is in love with me.”

― George Eliot
2:01 pm - Thu, Aug 14, 2014
Looking at you sleeping there at the couch made me remember the reason why I loved you then… You were my angel and my prince.
12:01 am - Tue, Aug 12, 2014

An Order to Restrain Myself

She found out about my chat conversations with him last Saturday. She was mad and disappointed according to what she had written in S-note. Well, I can’t blame her.
I cried—because, although I know it’s not true, she told me she didn’t love me anymore. I said I’ll go home but she didn’t let me get off the bus. I cried— also because I don’t know why I’m so fond of him and I think I was falling but I didn’t want to. I cried because I hate the situation where I was in. Cheska, during her Lessons in Leadership, shared with us that as leaders, we must always choose what is right. My dilemma is, I don’t know which is right— to fall for a man which is not against the norm or to be loyal to the woman I am in a relationship with. You see, I’ll still be committing a sin whichever I choose. One more dilemma, even if I fall in love with someone else, I can never bear to leave her.

So, I put a restraining order to myself. I should limit chatting and talking to that specific person. As much as I wanted to talk to him, I cannot.

And maybe, he is just another Dacs. He is just someone who,I think, is giving me unusually special attention and I wanted to know why. I wanted to know if he likes me… because that is just how I am, a flirt. I love to flirt and I have to be restrained.
6:24 pm - Sun, Aug 3, 2014
We talked… about what happened… about why they are putting malice in our chats (in FB and client communicator). I explained to him that there was nothing special there. He said there was nothing, too. He had said things though, that made my heart skip some beats. I don’t want to entertain the feelings because they were wrong.
He said… “Mataas ang dispatch ko kasi… ” He avoided my eyes and he seemed to blush. Then I said, “Why? Is it because of the tickets that you’re getting?” And he said, it was because I was not helping him… and that he was avoiding to chat with me especially when there are lots of people around because they may say things. He also said that he wanted to ask questions but was hesitant because of what Sha might say. I told him I have talked to Sha about it and I was hoping that nothing would change with how he was treating me.
1:19 am - Fri, Aug 1, 2014
Gosh, I miss him. It’s so awkward now… We’re not talking that much because there are a lot of observing eyes full of malice. I don’t know what was talked about yesterday. I am so fond of him but I guess I have to make sure I avoid him starting now.
9:20 pm - Wed, Jul 30, 2014
He thinks I’m being nostalgic. I think I’m putting closure. When I told him what made me give up and when he told me he thinks the Galera vacay triggered it, I found the closure I was looking for.
12:10 am - Mon, Jul 21, 2014
When I was with the man I’m with for seven years, I prayed for the Lord to intervene because I can’t think of how I am going to leave him. I thought it was hopeless. I thought that the only way was for him to die so I can be free… but I had faith that the Lord knows best and He would find a way. He did. After a few months, he had to leave for Germany. God gave me a chance to escape. I grabbed that chance. I was able to build my life again.
I was in love with another man back then. I thought that after leaving him, we would be ok and I would be happy with him but he didn’t have enough guts or “love for me” to be that someone I thought I would be spending the rest of my life with. Then, I noticed Sha who noticed me. We dated. We got along. We’re still together now…and I am happy… but I am fascinated with someone again and I don’t want history to repeat itself. I need to be content with what I have. I don’t want to hurt someone who has me as the center of her life. There were times when I want to be normal —get married, have kids… but will I be happy and secure as I am now?
8:52 pm - Sat, Jul 12, 2014
I’ve read old messages and found out what went wrong and when it all started to fall apart. It was Christmas day..of 2011. It was my fault.
1:37 pm
It’s frightening how far a simple fondness can go and how thin is the line between fascination and love….
6:21 am - Sun, Jul 6, 2014
He amazes me. Every time I am lost in the sea of coding problems, he is always there to rescue me and clear my mind. He is awesome and intelligent and very accommodating, too. I hope I won’t fall.
9:23 pm - Sun, Jun 29, 2014

The Story of My Life: An Update

So, it’s been a while since I blogged about my life story… It seems that after being in a relationship with Sha and attempting to forget the prince, I have stopped blogging. Was it because I’m happy? Probably.
Anyway, I’ve been with Sha for more than two years. I have gotten along well with Dacs and we are now in some sort of friendly relationship back again. I have handled two training classes for Voice and is now handling the third. I am also studying programming languages for a big project with the boys (Law, Voj and Will). In general, my life is becoming better… I am happy. I am content. However, there are times that I come across temptations. I am being surrounded by fresh faces and once or twice, some awesome personalities that would give me special attention will touch a spot in my heart. I have to divert feelings, I have to put barriers even before feelings get deeper.
Somehow, I miss the feeling of being “in love” —the sleepless nights, the untouched food, the faraway stares and the daydreaming. I love Sha but the love that we share is already on a different level. It’s a mature love. I’m ok with that so I try hard to ignore the fascination I feel towards an intelligent, funny trainee or a geeky co-founder.

9:53 pm - Sun, May 18, 2014
Hassle-free shopping is not so hassle-free with a cat touching the screen and choosing for me… duh… I don’t like his taste.

Hassle-free shopping is not so hassle-free with a cat touching the screen and choosing for me… duh… I don’t like his taste.

8:24 pm - Sun, May 4, 2014
Posted by Mhelorie Mingi