I was in love with another man back then. I thought that after leaving him, we would be ok and I would be happy with him but he didn’t have enough guts or “love for me” to be that someone I thought I would be spending the rest of my life with. Then, I noticed Sha who noticed me. We dated. We got along. We’re still together now…and I am happy… but I am fascinated with someone again and I don’t want history to repeat itself. I need to be content with what I have. I don’t want to hurt someone who has me as the center of her life. There were times when I want to be normal —get married, have kids… but will I be happy and secure as I am now?
The Story of My Life: An Update
So, it’s been a while since I blogged about my life story… It seems that after being in a relationship with Sha and attempting to forget the prince, I have stopped blogging. Was it because I’m happy? Probably.
Anyway, I’ve been with Sha for more than two years. I have gotten along well with Dacs and we are now in some sort of friendly relationship back again. I have handled two training classes for Voice and is now handling the third. I am also studying programming languages for a big project with the boys (Law, Voj and Will). In general, my life is becoming better… I am happy. I am content. However, there are times that I come across temptations. I am being surrounded by fresh faces and once or twice, some awesome personalities that would give me special attention will touch a spot in my heart. I have to divert feelings, I have to put barriers even before feelings get deeper.
Somehow, I miss the feeling of being “in love” —the sleepless nights, the untouched food, the faraway stares and the daydreaming. I love Sha but the love that we share is already on a different level. It’s a mature love. I’m ok with that so I try hard to ignore the fascination I feel towards an intelligent, funny trainee or a geeky co-founder.